Arranged Marriages are usually the norm in Asian countries. Me, being an Indian and experienced first hand an arranged marriage (Yes, trust me it does have wonderful advantages). I’d like to take a punt on the other side and talk about why courtship is important before marriage. Hey, I had a good six months between my engagement and wedding to court my beloved wife during which time I was able to develop a rapport with her and get to know each other before we tied the knot.
#1- Is it a YES/NO?
During the wedding hullabaloo, the Bride and Groom put their thinking hats on and decide. Is he/she the ‘ONE’? This is very much part of the modern arranged marriage system as much as one might say that arranged marriage doesn’t involve courtship (in some cases it still doesn’t). Well sorry to say it does friends.
#2- Time of Discovery. Mostly time to discover the romantic side-
This time should be used wisely by both the man and woman to discover the other person, his/her interests and likes and dislikes. Greatly helps in finding a common ground between them to stand on.
#3- Brings out the best in people-
Human beings have a tendency to be at their best behaviour when they want to make an impression. When else will we get our best behaviour out other than when we are trying to win over the person whom we want to spend the rest of lives with eh?
#4- Fairy tale period or wooing period-
Technically this ain’t the honeymoon period, but hey if it’s going to be sugar coated and taste like heaven what’s stopping me from having a pre-honeymoon period. I say this as we are showered with respect, gifts and love. Promised land it is!!!
#5- Importance of Courtship is usually underplayed. But it shouldn’t
Sometime back I read a report where scientists had studied around 100-200 couples. The study found, that a dysfunctional courtship mostly ended in a dysfunctional marriage, thereby ending in divorce. Ouch that’s painful.
#6- RCTU are the backbone of a successful courtship
Ask yourself this (For those of you currently in a courtship period or for those of you who will get into one eventually). Will your relationship with the other person have Romance, Commitment, Trust and Unconditional Love? These are the things that will make or break your relationship, and these are the things that should be the parameter on which judgement should be passed during the courtship period.
#7- Make a new friend-
Not all courtship is going to end up in marriage. Some of may put the other person in the famed “Friend Zone”. Some walk into our lives to be purely friends and if a courtship does go sideways there is another option.
